to you...

if you are reading this, i just wanted to tell you that i miss you...i had chicken and dumpings today...they werent as good as yours.  if you ever start missing me, just know that im here...ill always be here...waiting

ive been focusing in taking care of the fam, since mom is out of town, and finals for so long that i wasn't sad...now that finals are over....im worse than ever.

I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you

I can't get you out of my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone
You couldn't be more gone
From falling apart to fighting mad
From wanting you back to not giving a damn
I've felt it all
I've been to the wall

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you

One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory to remind you

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
I gave you everything, every part of me

Loving You Is All I Know

I dont understand how the sun keeps on shining,
And I dont understand why the seasons change,
And I dont have a clue,
What makes the rivers flow,
Loving You is All I know,

I cant tell you why stars come out in the evening,
And I cant tell you where they go when there gone,
And I dont have a clue,
What makes a flower grow,
Loving You is All I know,

Chorus:
I dont know how the world keeps on spinning around,
I dont know why the sky dont come falling down,
I just know that I would die without your touch,
I dont know why the tide,
has to reach the shore,
I just know that I'll need you for, forever more,
Knowing that I guess I know it now,

I cant really say if there is a heaven,
but I feel like it's here when I feel you near me baby,
if angels are real,
They must know how I feel,
Cuz' Loving You Is All I Know

I dont know how the world keeps on spinning around,
I dont know why the sky dont come falling down,
I just know that I would die without your touch,
I dont know why the tide,
has to reach the shore,
I just know that I'll need you for, forever more,
Knowing that I guess I know it now,

I dont understand how the sun keeps on shining,
And I dont understand why the seasons change,
And I dont have a clue,
What makes the rivers flow,
Loving You is All I know,
Loving You is All I know.

Never has there been a more appropriate song for my life.  It sucks right now.  Everything is falling down around me.  The one person that i would always be constant--the one person that i thought would be there for me until the end of time--doesn't want me anymore.  I should have realized it, but I guess I had my head in the sand.  He doesn't love me any more.  I'm not good enough--not good enough to be loved by the one peson who means the world to me.  What's the point anymore?  I'm miserable, and it won't go away.  I wish that I had tears left, because all I want to do is cry.  Im getting nausious just thinking about it.  I feel like I'm falling down a dark and endless hole, and there is now what that I will ever find my way out.  Maybe that's a good thing--I don't think I want to come out anyway.

i had a pretty sweet birthday...the next day kinda blew, for many reasons...but overall, i had a GREAT birthday!  thanks to everyone who came to my party.  love you all, very much.

i have a futon in my room that i am NOT taking home with me...the middle legs in the front and back are broken off, so it's held up by cinder block in the front and back...but, trust me, that made it MORE sturdy...if no one takes it from me (PLEASE TAKE IT FROM ME) then i am throwing it away....take it...please....

love!